Several years ago, I created an important concept, and I strongly urge you to adopt it. I present:
You are special, so you deserve to celebrate yourself, and your birthday, for one entire month! The Birthday Month is a one-month get-out-of-jail free card. It is a “Oh, you’re being a royal pain in the ass, but it’s your Birthday Month, so I won’t call you on it” present. It also includes others doing chores for you, saying extra nice things, and letting you have the best part of their lunch. It’s an idea whose time has come. Until you try it, you won’t believe how much fun it is to have a Birthday Month.
I was lucky enough to be born the very last day of the month, so I get a nice, symmetrical Birthday Month. But never fear, if you were born on some other day, unfortunate one, simply celebrate for a month before your birthday. I advise against celebrating after your actual birthday. By the end of The Birthday Month, everyone is really sick of “your attitude”, and only your actual birthday will compel them to be nice.
I’ll say this one more time. Only one of you needs to stand by my head to provide shade. The other one should go get me a root beer and some hay. And make it snappy!
May is my Birthday Month. I’ve been hell on wheels already, and oh, is it fun. Try it out for yourself.